Anyway, I wake up this morning from a phone call from Pastor Joe. He was just asking me something and I decided to just stay up even though I was pretty sleepy. So I went upstairs to my room (I slept in the basement), turned on the computer, and then I sign onto AIM.
Yesterday, a brother comes up to me at chuch and asks if I got his IM. I didn't get it. Not that I knew of. He said he sent it while I was offline, so the next time i sign on I could receive it.
So my computer turns on and then I obviously open Google Chrome and AIM as usual. I get an instant message from that brother and I was like oh this must have been what he was talking about. But, this whole time I was thinking about going on the computer and doing the stupid stuff that people, not just males, do on the computer. Yes, masturb... You can finish it, but you get my drift right. (People under the age of 16 follow these directions. Put your hand over your mouse. Take the cursor to the top right corner of the screen. There should be a button that has an "x" on it. Now click.) Just kidding, read whatever. Blogs are for the public! Back to the story. So, in my mind I was set on going to some site and blah blah. But an amazing thing happened.
I get the instant message and it was an accountability thing and he was encouraging me to stand firm in my walk. I let him and a few others know that I don't do well in the middle of the week because I get dried out. He sent the message on Thursday while I was offline and I signed on on Saturday noonish.
This was the instant message.
[Offline IM sent 1d and 13h ago] hey brother charles, i know todays a thursday and this when the donwfall of your week goes so i hope u are standing strong right now and hope u continue to stand firm with your walk throughout this week till sunday. =] well do your QTs and hopefully this can encourage you.
He linked me to these two songs that are amazing songs that lifted me up. This took my mind off of everything I was about to do and my eyes got fixed on God again. It really just opened my eyes because it saved me from doing something so stupid that I do over and over again. I really want to stop, but I can't give it up. It's so pleasing, yet so dumb. I've been struggling with this issue since forever and at times its really rough and at others it's a little more at ease, but I'm always struggling with it. Today, a brother saved my butt from a prayer that would have been unnecessary and repetitive. What's crazy is the timing.
If I go back to how it all could have happened this way, then I could go back to the start of my Bible Study. About a month ago, I started teaching Bible Study as most of you people know. I wanted it to be a small group thing where our class becomes more of a community and accountable to each other. To know each other's problems and praises. To live a life of Christianity together, as God intended it to be. We were always meant for community, for fellowship amongst each other and especially with God. So this prayer request and weekly accountability thing started up and as you can guess the instant message was from one of my students from Bible Study. He sent this message that saved me from sinning at exactly 1 day and 13 hours before I read it. If I read it any earlier or any later, it would have probably been looked over as an encouraging message from a friend, but it was more. It's like God made it happen this way. That I wouldn't go on AIM for 1 day and 13 hours. I go on AIM every single day and I'm usually on multiple times a day, but for some reason on Friday, I didn't go on at all. I signed on on Saturday right before I was about to wack off. And it saved my life.
I don't know about you guys, but it just amazes me how God works. It's so perfect. The timing was flawless and He used a vessel, this brother, to get to me in one of my darkest problems. That's called perfect timing from a perfect God.
P.s. Feel free to leave a comment or a response. I want to know who reads my junk, but if you don't want me to know then that's cool too. Even if you don't have a blogger you can comment and leave like your AIM or you're facebook site so I can know who you are. Thank you readers.
Faith+Hope+Love.
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